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If Money Talks, It Ain't On Speaking Terms With Me
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"If Money Talks It Ain't On Speaking Terms With Me" is the title of a song written by J. Fred Helf. The song was first recorded by the Doherty Sisters in 1902, and also by the popular singer Arthur Collins. Helf's version has a great melody and chorus, and in this revised edition they remain untouched. I have substantially rewritten the verses, and I hope some of my words may provide solace for anyone with an empty pocket, "If your financial situation's in an sorry state, it might be that it's just a failure to communicate."

A Penny's Worth of Thoughts:
Fred Helf was born in 1870 in Kentucky and went to New York City at age 31 to seek his fortune. He composed over 100 popular songs during the first two decades of the twentieth century. Like many other composers of the period, Helf started his own publishing company which also published songs by some other composers. But the song, "If Money Talks It Ain't on Speaking Terms with Me" was not originally published by Helf, but by Sol Bloom, who after a run in the music publishing business was elected a member of the United States Congress, where he chaired the House Committee on Foreign Affairs from 1939-1949.

- Richard Perlmutter
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